This past September marks the six year anniversary of my having been called to the Bar. I still remember my September 2011 Call: the neck tabs were threatening to guillotine me, I'd forgotten my cuff-links and was thinking of how I could MacGyver my sleeves with whatever I had in my pockets, and I was boiling under the robes. I didn't think I could survive the Call, nevermind the practice of law.
But I survived. And despite being a newbie lawyer by many standards, there are a few tips I've picked up along the way that have helped me survive the practice of law. In this article, I'll share some of them with you. And for those of you with the attention span of a goldfish, I’ve included TL;DRs for your convenience.
Survival Tip #1: Kill them with Kindness and Professionalism!
Throughout my 6 years as a lawyer, I've had the opportunity to interact with many different Counsel. Many of them were very helpful, courteous, and respectful. But some were 'colourful' characters to say the least.
It goes without saying that our profession is one full of stress, significant conflict and frustration, and sometimes this can manifest in an angry letter or snide remark from opposing Counsel. When Counsel sends a nasty email, fax, or raven (they’re damn fast!), you'll feel the urge to hit REPLY and reply in kind. We all want 'set the record straight' or ensure that Counsel doesn't 'get away with it'. This can be a very bad idea.
Never reply to a heated email immediately after receiving it. This is not a Youtube comment section. If you must, draft the email, but don't hit send. Sleep on it, and review it with a fresh pair of eyes. I've found it helps to ask yourself the following questions:
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How would a Judge respond after reviewing your email?
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How can you maintain professionalism in the eyes of your client?
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Is there a better way to phrase your response so that it neutralizes any aggression?
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When was the last time I ate? (Seriously, you’d be surprised how much more aggressive hungry people are)
You can apply the same rules to face to face interactions with Counsel as well. Eat a Snickers before you respond. Don’t flip the table.
Of course, there is a time when Counsel has gone too far. Rely on friends, mentors, and colleagues in the profession. Seek their wisdom and insight (see Survival Tip #2). But never stoop to the level of belligerent counsel.
TL;DR: People will test your patience. Put your best face forward, and always pause before reacting. Be brief, informative, friendly, and professional in your interactions.
Survival Tip #2: Find a Mentor (or 10)
You've survived law school. You've survived the Bar exam. You've survived articling. You should know it all by now...right? WRONG! In your first few years as a lawyer, you may feel like you know absolutely nothing compared to everyone else. You aren't alone! With so many rules, procedures, court directions, case laws, ethical dilemmas, etc, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed.
That's where mentors are critical. The best mentor is one who is experienced, reflective enough to be able to articulate that experience, and willing to share the wisdom/insight gained from it. Have a question about a particular area of the law but don't know where to start? Need guidance on how to deal with very frustrating opposing counsel? Are you very lucky and have just won the Spot Audit lottery? Mentors have been through it all, so ask them!
Surrounding yourself with people who have been where you are will keep you in check, give you access to an invaluable resource of experience, and guide you better along as a young lawyer. You're not alone in this and we are fortunate as young lawyers to have so many brilliant and experienced counsel all around us. So reach out to your more experienced colleagues. Ask if they'd be willing to be a mentor. You'd be surprised how many are happy to help! There's no need to burn yourself young Padawan, if someone else has already touched the hot stove.
TL;DR: Find mentors. Reach out to them. Learn from them. You may know nothing. But with the help of mentors, you're sure to learn something.
Helpful links to find Mentors/Coaches:
https://www.oba.org/Professional-Development-Resources/Mentorship
https://www.lsuc.on.ca/coachandadvisor/
Survival Tip #3: Don't Panic!
You've got your outline and presentation for your first motion. You've prepared all night with case law and research. You're all robed up. You stand and confidently introduce yourself to the court. You begin your submissions...and it all goes downhill from there. Lawyering isn't easy. And part of the difficulty is that things don't always go according to plan. A judge may not agree with your submissions, a client may have an emotional breakdown, opposing counsel may do something unexpected, and so on. Things CAN and DO go wrong. It's important to stay calm during a crisis, and simply do the best that you can.
Hindsight is 20/20 and as practitioners in a profession that has trained us to be excellent detail oriented nitpickers, you may feel the need to nitpick yourself to death. Don't. Here's what you do instead: Reflect on what happened (see Survival Tip #6). Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience and how you can avoid it in the future. Remember, this too WILL pass. And move on. As you progress throughout your career, the panic will eventually subside, you will become very comfortable with diverse range of excrement hitting the fan, and you'll learn a lot in the process. And remember, odds are that whatever went wrong won't matter in 6 years anyway (I speak from experience on this one!).
TL;DR: Things won't always go according to plan (and that's OK!). Stop, pause, breathe. Then reflect on what went wrong, what you can learn from the experience, and let go. Repeat as necessary.
Survival Tip #4: Don't Forget the Non-Billables
As young lawyers, there may be a tendency to focus only on our billable hours. It's really easy to bury yourself in them. When I think back on my career, the billable hours aren't what stand out. What stand out are the many different organizations (such as the OBA) that I've had the privilege of working with and volunteering for. What stand out are the non-billable hours where I was doing something that benefited others in some way. What stand out are the many people I've met, who have taught me so much, and connected me to a broader, much larger legal community. Being involved in your community (legal or otherwise) will make you a better lawyer, and a better person. The non-billable hours could be some of the most rewarding you'll ever experience.
Another critical non-billable, is to take a break once in a while. Principals, colleagues, clients, and others will always have work for you to do. But it's important to know your limits, and know when it’s time to take a break. I'm not saying don't challenge yourself: I'm proposing that you know your abilities, your limitations, and your workload, so that you don't burn yourself out. Once you've burned out, it's very difficult to get back on track. Work hard, but take breaks, take vacations, have fun on the side, and always aim to bill-d (pun intended) towards your perfect work/life balance.
TL;DR: Get involved with different organizations. Volunteer your time. Make connections and new friends. Don't forget to take a break!
Survival Tip #5: Keep an Open Mind and Never Stop Learning
CPDs are great. They're also mandatory as lawyers. But as Mark Twain said: "Never let school get in the way of your education." CPDs are just one of many places you can learn (and they're excellent opportunities to network). There are many interesting CPDs that aren't necessarily related to your specific area of expertise. Branch out, and look into them as well. Most importantly, never stop learning. Make the time to read a good book, to have an amazing conversation, and to experience something incredible. There is so much you can learn from the world around you if you keep an open mind! Keep learning and growing as a lawyer and you will rarely find yourself bored by our profession.
But Sina, how do I keep an open mind? There's a wonderful little phrase which I've found critical in my interactions with clients, counsel, court staff, and just about everyone else under the sun: "Replace Judgement with Curiosity." It works. Anytime I find myself coming to a conclusion about something or someone, I ask a few more questions to uncover the truth. 5 year olds do this wonderfully: no matter what you say, they will keep asking 'WHY'. They aren't as quick as we are to reach conclusion, and that may be a great thing. Learning to ask why, and replacing judgement with curiosity is going to help you gain more insights than you could have ever imagined.
TL;DR: CPD's are great, but there are a lot of different ways to learn and grow as a lawyer. Replace judgement with curiosity. Ask WHY a lot.
Survival Tip #6: Reflect Inward
Regardless of the area of the law you practice in, there is so much to learn, and experience. You have to give yourself a chance to pause, and reflect. Hindsight is 20/20 (see Survival Tip #3), but over time you will find that you will develop a better grasp on things. Reflect on your thoughts, on your experiences. I've found discussions with colleagues, or even keeping a journal of thoughts can help process the day-to-day so that you can learn from experiences, and also about yourself.
Our profession can be quite competitive. But getting into the competitive mindset can be stressful for many. So rather than try to be better than everyone around you (as admirable as that goal is), reflect on your own hopes and dreams, and aspire to be better than the person you were yesterday (alright alright alright). It's easy to lose yourself and proceed on autopilot. But that can only get you so far.
As you progress through your career, ask yourself:
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What is working well for me? What did I do recently that I want to make sure I do again?
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What could be working better?
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Every profession has its stresses: what stresses can I handle, what stresses drive me absolutely crazy? What are my blind spots or areas of improvement?
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Is there something I've recently done outside of work that I would love to do again? Why?
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What would my ideal day look like? What steps can I take to make this ideal day, an everyday?
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If I am enjoying law, what are my goals for the next 6 months, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years? What do I want to say I accomplished at the end of my career?
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If I am not enjoying law, what is something I enjoy doing? What would it take to be able to make that a career? Start from the completion of the goal, and reverse engineer it to come up with a possible path.
And for each of these, ask WHY a thousand and one times.
TL;DR: Look inward once in a while as you engage with the world around you.
Book Recommendation
For an amazing book that’ll hopefully leave you feeling a little lighter and a little more reflective, have a look at Robin Sharma’s “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” (Spoiler (but not really): it starts off with a lawyer having a heart attack in the middle of a trial).
Six years may seem like a long time, but it flies by very fast. This is an exciting time for our profession, with a lot of change and evolution taking place right before our eyes. With these 6 survival tips, you'll hopefully be able to survive through it all a little easier. This article has a lot of common sense (at least it is after 6 years of practice). But as I've learned, sometimes common sense can be a little hard to come by in the insanity and business of things. A reminder here and there could be the nudge to keep things on track.
Until next time, Young Lawyers.
About the author
Sina Hariri is a lawyer/accredited family mediator, and practices in the areas of family law, wills/estates, and alternative dispute resolution (ADR). He is pretty good at making book/article/podcast recommendations, and enjoys tormenting friends and colleagues with dad-puns, for which he has yet to be disbarred.