Staying Out of Special Places in Hell: Why Women Need to Support Women

  • March 07, 2019
  • Gabriela Ramo, Member-at-Large

Many years ago, when I was a young associate, I met a woman who was a partner at a large law firm with very few female partners. During a conversation she told me that the associate who worked under her had shocked her by asking her to be her champion and sponsor. Why would this young woman expect her to help her, she wondered?  fter all, she went on to say, she “had to claw her way to the top,” so why shouldn’t this woman have to do so too? Some 25 years later I still distinctly recall how her words made me feel. I remember searching for an appropriate response, but not finding the words, I said nothing. 

While her negative reaction to what I perceived as a positive opportunity for her to help a fellow woman may have rendered me speechless, it also spurred me to action. Looking back on the incident I realize that it drove me to seek opportunities to help and mentor other women during the course of my career.   

I wish I could say that the partner in my story was unique, and that her reaction to being asked to help another woman unusual – but unfortunately I don’t believe that to be the case. Unlike our male counterparts who use their positions of power to regularly champion and support other men, successful women often hesitate to do the same for other women. It is an often noted observation, and many before me have implored women to help one another. As a recipient of the Women’s Executive Network’s Canada’s Most Powerful Women Top 100 Award put it in 2015, if we want to push forward towards equality women must “give each other a hand up, instead of an elbow in the ribs."