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Leota Embleton*

The holiday season can be a time of stress for many reasons. Lawyers have very busy schedules at all times of the year and the additional pressures of holiday events and expectations can be enormously overwhelming.

Here are some tips for keeping it all in perspective.

Dealing with Family
 
Be realistic. Families are very important but also demanding.   If there are bad feelings about someone try not to make it an issue, however, don’t pretend that all is well.  Set limits that you are comfortable with when it comes to family events.   

Financial Pressures

Know your spending limit.  If you are feeling financially pressured, try to buy smaller gifts that reflect the person’s interest rather than trendy expensive gifts.  You can show caring by getting something that you know is meaningful and personal but not necessarily expensive.

Time Pressures

People should not put their lives on pause or rearrange schedules because of the holidays.  Remember to stay tuned to who you are and try not to keep up with the schedules or the expectations of others.

Health Issues

If you or someone you are close to is ill, it may be more difficult to feel happy.  Take the opportunity to value time together and acknowledge any pain or sadness. It can make everyone more at ease to acknowledge any illness than to pretend that everything is okay.

Dealing with a Recent Family Tragedy, Death or Marriage/Relationship Break Up

Sometimes people may be grieving over a personal situation or loss.  Let them know that you care, but give them the choice about becoming involved in holiday activities.  If you are in a pressured situation, try to articulate what you need from those around you - make people aware of your wants.

Coping Strategies

Keep your expectations realistic and use discretion in what you do. You are not expected to attend every office or family event.  Learn to say “no” to invitations and parties that overwhelm you and your schedule.

Dealing with People and their Different Expectations

People have individual experiences that are different than the idealized view of the season.  Let others experience the holidays in their own way, but offer to share your happiness with someone who might be lonely.  Don’t try to do what you are not comfortable with.

If you continue to experience any ongoing stress, overwhelming sadness, or distress over the holidays, remember that confidential help is available for both lawyers and their families now and throughout the year.  Call the Ontario Bar Assistance Program (OBAP) 24 Hour Helpline 1-800-667-5722 or the LINK Lawyers Assistance Program at 1-866-261-6704 (English) or 1-866-261-6718 (French).

* Leota Embleton, Program Manager, Ontario Bar Assistance Program.